Full Circle: My 30-Year Return to New Zealand

Returning to Aotearoa, New Zealand, after nearly three decades away has been nothing short of a whirlwind—healing, traumatic, confusing, warming. A kaleidoscope of emotions.

Despite living in many countries and visiting every continent, I’ve come to realise this: the connection we have to the land of our birth is deep and often unbreakable. Even if we try to sever it. Even if we never return. It’s a bond rooted in our first memories, our earliest experiences. It becomes a part of us—woven into our identity.

The Power of Place

There’s something profoundly emotional about returning to the place where your story began. For me, it’s more than nostalgia—it’s a soul memory. No matter how far or wide I’ve travelled, or how long I’ve been away, there’s a resonance here in Aotearoa I’ve never felt anywhere else.

Our birthplace holds a special kind of gravity. It’s our most fundamental “place.” The positive—or negative—experiences we’ve had there shape who we become. And returning to that place can stir up something powerful.

A Growing Celebration of Māori Culture

One of the most beautiful changes I’ve witnessed since returning is the growing celebration and visibility of Māori culture—my own heritage. It’s been deeply meaningful to bring my children here, to a place where they can connect with their Māori ancestry and feel that part of their identity come alive. Growing up in the South Island in the '80s, there was very little diversity. It was a small provincial farming community—overwhelmingly white, with little acknowledgement of Māori heritage.

Now, it feels different. It’s not perfect, but there’s more pride, more presence. Te reo Māori is heard more frequently. Pounamu is worn by people of all backgrounds. There’s a wider understanding—at least at a basic level—of the culture and values that form the backbone of this land.

And it’s not just Kiwis embracing it. I’ve met Germans, Dutch, Japanese, Canadians, Chileans, Americans—all drawn to and respectful of Māori traditions. That shift fills me with hope.

The Shadows Still Linger

Of course, no place is without its challenges. New Zealand still grapples with poverty in places, cultural tensions, and that classic “tall poppy syndrome”—a by-product of small-town competitiveness and an aversion to standing out or rising above the crowd.

But despite the shadows, there’s a peace here I rarely felt elsewhere. A stillness. A safety. A sense of simplicity.

The Sweetness of Nostalgia

There’s a kind of magic in coming back to your childhood landscape. Songs on the radio I haven’t heard in decades. Retro lollies like Jet Planes and Pineapple Lumps—no sweets in the world compare! That sense that New Zealand is somehow 20 years behind the rest of the world... but in the best possible way.

Here, vintage cars still cruise the roads. People shop in real stores, not just online. When you go out, not everyone’s glued to their phones, documenting every second. People feel more present.

More connected to each other. More in touch with the Earth.

Nature, Slowness, and Simplicity

It’s impossible to talk about Aotearoa without mentioning the land itself. The breathtaking landscapes. Snow-capped mountains that meet the sea. Wild, empty beaches. The native bush, the long white clouds, the shades of green you can’t find anywhere else.

New Zealand’s rural character—its small towns, its slower pace—offers something truly rare today: a society that’s less dominated by digital infrastructure, and more grounded in nature. Here, people prioritise lifestyle over career. They value time outdoors. They create. They gather. They live.

A Community That Heals

One of the most beautiful parts of returning home has been reconnecting with a strong sense of community. In the last year, I’ve seen a celebration of self-care and collective growth that feels deeply healing.

Cacao ceremonies, full moon gatherings, pot-lucks, food clubs, women’s and men’s circles. Meal trains for new mums or those unwell. Weekend markets, which were always a staple. This is a place where people show up for each other—not just on social media, but in person. In real time.

Creativity Inspired by Place

Since coming home, my creative practice has been reawakened. I’ve been painting native birds I see on nature walks. I’ve opened a little shop on the Mapua Wharf in Tasman—a gem of a spot by the sea, buzzing with tourists, adventurers, artists and makers.

My shop is a cheerful little blue cabin in the Mapua Marketplace, filled with illustrated homewares and original artwork. It’s only been open for two weeks, but already it feels like home—a place where I can share my work with a supportive community and passing travellers drawn to the charm of this coastal corner.

Looking Ahead

I’m excited for summer. For the crowds to arrive and the Wharf to come alive. To connect with more people, to create more, and to keep finding new layers of inspiration in the place that raised me.

It feels good to be home.

You'll find my Ilka Boutique in the little blue cabin (opposite Harcourts), Iwa Street, Mapua Marketplace, Tasman, New Zealand.

All photos copyright ©Abbey Mae